The title of this post is the sentence my wife said while I was proposing her to go to the nude beach a long time ago. I’ve been a nudist before meeting her and introduced her to nudism. But she was, and still is in some respects, reluctant to embrace nudism as I have. It was not about being seen, her expressed reason was about not wanting to see naked people. At first, I thought it was a stupid idea, then, I realised it made sense and it may have been one of the main reasons many people are against naturism and nudism. Seeing naked people confronts us to seeing humanity without anything to hide, to accepting our own flaws, and to being who we are without the lens of others’ judgmental view. Not wanting to see naked people is refusing to consider our own insecurities and to push our own comfort zone.
How to move from not wanting to see naked people to wanting to be naked with other naked people? Here’s a three-step thought process that works more often than not.
Having Nothing to Hide
How life would be if nobody hid anything? I recently came to the concept of radical honesty. Radical honesty is about telling the truth, always the truth and only the truth. Of course, you can sugarcoat and ensure the receiving end is ready to hear the truth, but I believe it’s a wonderful way to be congruent with our inner self. I think nudism and radical honesty work well together. Being a nudist is having nothing to hide and being casually, simply, and vulnerably naked.
One question I love to ask when I’m told that seeing naked people is wrong, is why would you not go naked with others? The answers vary from “because we don’t do this” to “because it’s gross” to “because I won’t do it, full stop”. The main reason though fits in one word: shame. Most people would feel shame exposing their breasts or genitals. It’s important to make them express and accept this shame. Once accepted, the discussion can move to try to move the shame away.
Breasts, vulvas and penises are neither shameful nor secrets. They come in various shapes, that’s all. If you can come up with this idea, you’re on your way to accept that those body parts are not wrong or did not deserve to be hidden under clothing. Of course, for many people, it may require time. Many people, beyond religious or cultural beliefs, don’t like the look of their private parts, as going naked is accepting them as they are. It all goes down the way of accepting our own flaws.
Accepting Our Own Flaws
The day you go to a nudist beach or resort, you immediately realise that people don’t look like models of fashion magazines or porn actors/actresses. Actually, perfect or almost perfect bodies are a tiny minority. Not only, you will find all body shapes, all sorts of wrinkles and scars, you’ll also see that perfect breasts and big penises are not that frequent.
The day you go to a nudist beach or resort, you start moving away from the unhealthy comparison with top models and unrealistic Photoshopped bodies. On that day, you start realigning the relationship with your bodies, moving towards benevolence and acceptance. Moving beyond acceptance, you will start loving your body and understanding that it makes who you are, it describes your uniqueness.
Being naked with others contributes to our balance and our happiness by changing our perspective of what humanity looks like. There’s no such a thing as a perfect natural body. Being naked and seeing others’ flaws and imperfection make use accept our own flaws and imperfection. Not that we stop wanting to correct them by having a healthy lifestyle, but stop being obsessed by our own imperfections, and accepting our flaws.
As the chicken and the egg, is it seeing other people naked that makes us accept our flaws or is it accepting our flaws that make us accept to see other people? I believe it’s both, one feeding the other. After so many years living as a nudist, my preference goes to nudity, naked activities and naked people, and I attribute this to my total acceptance of my body and of who I am.
Being Who We Really Are
I firmly believe nudism helps us finding and accepting who we really are. Our own body is just the enveloppe of our soul. We can wrap a raw diamond in wrinkled half torn journal paper, as we can wrap a worthless object in a gold leaf. In the end, what really matters is not the shiny enveloppe but what’s inside. Accepting the enveloppe reveals the soul.
Naturism leaves us vulnerable. Being naked in front of others is hard. It requires courage as we are left without anything to hide and our body exposed. It also requires to draw a thick line between naturism and exhibitionism. It requires to analyse our feelings and learn how to behave nicely with others. It transforms into more respectful individuals as we understand and accept our own vulnerabilities, others’, and nature’s.
I strongly believe naturism and nudism make us better human beings, forcing to reveal the better version of ourselves. When a textile becomes a naturist, they don’t only undress, the also bare their soul and reveals who they really are. This is probably the deep reason why people don’t want to see naked people. It reveals their own vulnerabilities and cannot accept them. Naturism is a journey, that starts with accepting who we really are, deep inside. It’s a beautiful journey!
Textiles may not want to see naked people, but nudists don’t see naked people, they just see people. When you realise you can better live without shame, without having anything to hide, with accepting our flaws and who we really are, naked people disappear. As often shared, nudity is a by-product of nudism and naturism. Nudity is not the end, it’s a means. A means to respect, acceptance and peace. Stop seeing naked people, start seeing people, who happen to love to be naked. Have nothing to hide, accept your flaws and become who you really are. This is what naturism and nudism have to offer!
Strip Naked, Stay Naked, Live Naked and Share the Naked Love!
Photo by Ryoji Iwata on Unsplash
where can I find a list of nudist camps in Maryland?
You may want to try AANR (https://www.aanr.com) or TNS (https://naturistsociety.com).
Not wanting to see naked people means that person should hide his eyes, and not look. It is NOT a justification to force everyone else to hide themselves under layers of ugly fabric. An assumption that someone, somewhere, may not want to see naked people is NOT a valid reason for “nudist” groups to oppose general public nudity.
The motivation for not wanting to see naked people is an almost total lack of ever seeing naked people which becomes a psychological fear of the unknown. The cure is to occasionally see naked people without experiencing any harmful effect. Your wife said that long ago, but apparently changed her mind after becoming accustomed to actually seeing other people. We are all the same species. Seeing each other does no actual harm to any of us.
To eliminate public fear of seeing naked people, WE nudists have to be seen in public often enough so that occasionally seeing a naked person becomes the common public experience. Hiding ourselves on rare “nudist” beaches and parks is pandering to fear, and in the long run promotes public fear of seeing human bodies.
Bob, you are so correct! I couldn’t agree more! I’m certainly not anti-clubs and resorts (although I have been accused of being so), but enabling people in society to overcome their aversion to the sight of a naked human can never happen from within the hidden seclusion of official nudist establishments.
The sad thing is that clothing-optional advocates have a two-fold battle. Firstly, to educate the public on the normality and benefits of being naked in appropriate environments and, secondly, to fight the ridiculous mindset that has infiltrated much of the naturist movement that we must stay well-hidden to avoid “offending” Joe and Jane Public and family.
Yes, you are right Andrew. Redirecting many of the “nudists” to actually believe that naked is natural can be one of our big challenges. Most of their fears are unfounded.
Just yesterday I was out at a local public park teaching a beginner nudist man about going naked in public and being seen by clothists. After a couple of hours on a small beach by a creek at the far end of the park we were walking naked back to the parking lot on a wide path. I usually recommend putting on shorts when actually entering the parking area but not on the wooded paths. As we proceeded naked, a clothed woman was approaching from the opposite direction. I told my friend not to apologize for being naked or hurriedly cover. Either of those will acts would give a message that we believe we are doing something “wrong” by being naked.
As we passed the clothed woman my friend said “hello” and she said “how are you?” as a polite and friendly greeting. In half a century of me being naked on public parks, trails, forests, etc. her acceptance of nude people on the trail was by far the most common public reaction. We need to teach that to the nudist vacation resort only “nudists” who still, deep down, believe they have to hide in remote places because they are doing something wrong or shameful or offensive by being seen naked in public places.. .
After the woman passed we stopped near a tree and put on minimal shorts to walk the last 100 feet to the parking area. I stored my hiking stuff in my car, removed the shorts before getting into my car, and drove the 30 miles home naked, of course. It was a nice day.
Thank you Bob and Andrew for your comments. I totally agree with you both. Our society has been and continue to be brainwashed about simple nudity. As you Bob, I always walk to and from the parking lot to and from the nudist beach naked, as I’m driving naked as well. I never had anyone complaining about it, most people knowing the nudist beach is a few hundred meters away. Our behavior when naked say more than words. By being respectful we will be respected and nudity will more and more accepted. At least, I hope so!