Imagine the following. You are quietly reading and tanning. The beach is big and almost empty, with very few people scattered around, each naturist enjoying the biggest possible space (and that is being 15 to 20 meters away from each other). Then all of a sudden, a man sets his towel at exactly 2 meters away from you and your spouse.
On the positive side, this person gets naked, so fits in. On the negative side, he stares at you, and more intensely at your spouse. This creates almost immediately an uncomfortable feeling.
This just occurred to us yesterday, as we were enjoying the nudist beach. It happened that we were actually about to leave, so the situation just accelerated our departure.
However, the question of voyeurs remain. I believe this guy was there to watch us, enjoying the naked beach. On the one side, since he was naked, he can enjoy the naked beach. He can watch people too as long as his attitude is not lewd. On the other side, by the place he chose, we felt watched. Did he voluntarily sat there to watch us, I do not know but it felt like this. So the question is how to approach this situation?
If we were not about to leave, I would have approached and asked this man why he sat 2 meters away from us where he could have any other places further from anybody? And I would have shared that we felt watched by him. What would you have done? I would appreciate your comments and ideas?
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Photo by NICK SELIVERSTOV on Unsplash
Someone who visits nude beaches more often should know better than to stare at people. I would have approached him and asked him to move because his staring made me feel uncomfortable. And I wouldn’t have asked him quietly. Other people at the beach should be aware of that person.
well i hate to be the mean guy, but ask yourself this question, “What made you feel uncomfortable?” Was it the distance? His staring at you and your wife? His race, his age, or if he was fat or skinny? How did you know he wasn’t staring because he thought he may have known the two of you? Its these kind of questions that can drive you nuts.
Thx William for the comment and the questions. In retrospect it was the distance that made my wife uncomfortable as there was plenty of space. She felt looked at. I think in these moments being open and respectful is the best answer. Thx for your contribution.
well i will say this much. if your wife feels uncomfortable i can understand your concern. women feel differently about some things and maybe her woman’s intuition was telling her something was off.
I’m single, so it’s hard to comment on the defensiveness one might feel for one’s partner. But I think I would tackle it fairly neutrally: Hello. why do you sit so close when there is so much space on the beach?
It’s indeed part of the nude beach etiquette, that you don’t get to close to each other when there’s enough space. The thing is that some people don’t know this and some don’t care about whether there’s any distance or not.
We rarely get uncomfortable if people get to close, but if it would be the case, we would avoid a discussion and move a bit further away ourselves.
I would consider returning his gaze intensely.